My childhood years were full of fun I was a local squirt gun Out of control and pretty wild Eager to taste the juice of life Those were the days I got hooked on The sexy stud called Hedgehog Ron Me and grandpa side by side Watching porn all through the nite One, two, four, five Watching porn made me feel alive Five, six, eight, nine I want to make him mine I have a crush on Ron Jeremy, I have a crush on a Hedgehog I have a crush on Ron Jeremy, I wanna sleep with Ron My childhood years they flew away Watching his movies every day He sure was hot, he turned me on And I was on a hunt for Ron. I packed my bags and ran away To find my Hedgehog in LA I intermingled with the stars So I could get ahold of Ron One, two, four, five Watching porn made me feel alive Five, six, eight, nine I want to make him mine (Chorus) Hedgehog, you rock! Hedgehog, you rock! Soon I became a jet-set star Drinking champagne with caviar Cocktail parties in Bel-Air And got engaged to a billionaire But I was still in love with Ron The only guy that turned me on So I became the Queen of Sleaze And now Ron Jeremy's doing me One, two, four, five (repeat) (Chorus)