By this age I thought I'd be dead and gone
I'm still figuring out what I fucking want
Overworked but don't have a job
Paying rent but don't have a home
What does that freedom cost?
Had a dream the other night that you were back alive
I don't even blame you for the way you died
It's a fucking chore sometimes
Even attempting to survive
When there's no hope in sight
I don't know what it means to go slow
And the speed is eating away at my soul
But deep down I'm hoping I'll grow old
Wish I could lie to you and say the world has changed
That people became better since you left this place
But it somehow just feels the same
Another inCel killed immigrants to save his made-up white race
And most days feel heavy from the weight of the world
And the weight of this skin and fat and bone
So I'm left here carving a space
For myself
Embracing the pain of this short existence
I don't know what it means to go slow
And the speed is eating away at my soul
But deep down I'm hoping I'll grow old
No I don't want to hang myself today and I consider that a win
No I don't want to hang myself today and I consider that a win
I remember when they prayed for you on the internet
I remember when all those prayers came and went
The next day we had one less friend
Humans cling onto anything when they're feeling helpless
There are many days when I wish I had your guts
And the beautiful way you didn't give a fuck
But it feels like sad fat luck
That I'm even alive
So I'm stuck accepting this present
I don't know what it means to go slow
And the speed is eating away at my soul
But deep down I'm hoping I'll grow old
No I don't want to hang myself today and I consider that a win
No I don't want to hang myself today and I consider that a win