I smoked a cigarette
In a social setting
Just wanted to fit in
I've got my vices
But this is one I didn't have
The guts to try in high school
Jusr made me cough, feel like shit the next day
I tried again and I threw up immediately
Grew up trying to stay straight laced
Look how much good that did
I drank at least six days this week
But still don't go to parties
I keep saying I'll change once I finish this last case
But there's bottles in the cabinet
That I don't want to waste
So I'm sipping on a scotch I hate
My reward for getting through today
I did nothing but skip another meal and walk
Around a Target
No matter what I try
I can't soothe the shame from last night
I'm too worn out to help myself
Oh well
I called it self care, claimed treating myself
My friends affirmed my newfound health
I'm just as sad as ever, indignant as I was
When they staged an intervention
At a comedy show on the Seaport years ago
And I'm still sipping on a scotch I hate
My reward for getting through today
I did nothing but skip another meal and walk around a Target
No matter what I try
I can't soothe the shame from last night
I'm too run down to help myself
Oh well
Have another, have some more
You're fine, it's all under control
Have another, just one more
I'll be choking down a scotch I hate
'Cause I barely made it through today
I did nothing but skip another meal and walk around a Target
Why bother, why try
I'll still be ashamed of tonight
I'm too fucked up
To help myself
Oh well
Too hungover
To get better
To get well