I get a pool full of liquor and I die in it
You pour me a rum & coke, you better put a fucking lime in it
I'm Harvey Pekar if he could rap though
Louis CK, another disgruntled asshole
So please excuse the rudeness and demeanor
I'm more Eeyore than Christian Dior
I haven't had a 'New Look' since the 90s
If I need clothes then Kohl's is where you'll find me
My apartment functions as a dungeon
Curmudgeon, don't invite me to your functions
I can't stand introductions
Phone calls get ducked and voicemails, fuck them
(What are you doing tonight?) Nothing
I like my Friday nights with no interruption
And hold the compliments, don't have any confidence
Drinking every night 'cuz I don't have any accomplishments
Started from the bottom and I'll stay there
Never play the game 'cuz they don't play fair
I appreciate the help, I don't need nobody else
Let me party by myself
Bitch don't kill my vibe, bitch don't kill my vibe
How am I supposed to live? I gotta work to stay alive
I'm not an open book, I'm a bottle on the shelf
To love, health and wealth
Bitch I party by myself
Tonight I'm staying in the house, probably laying on the couch
Don't mistake what I'm about bitch
I pour an IPA into my mouth
Fuck fame, I'd rather be a face up in the crowd
A trip to the liquor store will be tonight's highlight
I don't pop molly bitch I drink Miller High Life
That chick reminds you of your Bimmer?
She reminds me of the time the heat went out in my Lumina
Steady sipping on this liquor
Probably fucking up my liver, you might think that I'm a sinner
But I think I beg to differ
On the weekends, not trying to get on guest lists
I'm taking your suggestions for shit to watch on Netflix
But I'm too drunk to watch a movie
It's Friday night I'm passing out watching Louie