Did you fight the roman wars And end up naked on your horse? Did you earn your winner's strikes And fall down drunk in your face last night? Is it true you lost your wealth And then your health to breast-fed milk? Happy birthday To the worst friend in the world Happy birthday To you, to you, to you It's true, it's true And we don't know what you're trying to prove It's true it's true And we don't know what you're trying to do Did you find egyptian tombs And sacred jewels when you read the news? Did you take her home last night And fly first class? It'd be fifteen flights. Is it true you grew up poor But then found success at the video store? Happy birthday. Can I poison your drink? Happy birthday To you, to you, to you It's true, it's true And we don't know what you're trying to prove It's true, it's true And we don't know what you're trying to do