The dead walk behind me
Though I do not recognize their faces
I know they are here to remind me
Of the space between the spaces
I'm drinking down a potion
I decocted from the roses in my garden
When my spirits told me
They could feel my heart was hardening
What you call God
I call the mysteries of the Universe
What difference does it really make after all?
If we had another chance to do it right
I'd give it all I had
Just like I did before when you left me with nothing at all
The darkness this has brought upon me
Hungers for the pain, like when I was young
And losing teeth
Which I loved to wiggle so deliciously with my tongue
Now I see you're not a perfect prism
Just the perfect foil for my masochism
Tell me, do I look different to you
In light of our little cataclysm?
What you call God
I call the mysteries of the Universe
What difference does it really make after all?
If we had another chance to do it right
I'd give it all I had
Just like I did before when you left me with nothing at all
I'm tired and I feel ashamed
Of how I've let my narcissism reign untamed
And yet I know that to blame myself
Is part of the same old game
The only way to get free is to die
Without dying
And I'm ready to give it a try
At least I think so – but to change is terrifying
What you call God
I call the mysteries of the Universe
What difference does it really make after all?
If we had another chance to do it right
I'd give it all I had
Just like I did before when you left me with nothing at all
They kissed my petals with their vapor lips
And savored my salty fingertips
And cradled me in thorny
Branches til the morning came