She left for someone so much slimmer than me
My confidence wrecked like a ship in the sea
But I got allotment and I got the shed
I got the toys when the kids have dropped dead
I got the confidence nipped in the bud
I got the back chat that does me no good
Just when you think she can't get no more cold
She's emptied the freezer and left me the mould
Just when you think she's got all that you got
She got the roof and left chimney pot
And just when you think she can't get any lower
She got the garden and left you the mower, the mower
♪
When I asked why she found somebody else
She answered me, "why just take a look at yourself"
And just when I felt it was as low as it gets
She's left me the dog food and taken the pets
I got the new flat a fridge full of beer
And you got the new friend who is loving you here
Loving you here in what once was my bed
And I got the couch or a mattress instead
Just when you think she's got all that you got
She got the roof and left chimney pot
And just when you think she can't get any lower
She got the garden and left you the mower, the mower
Just when you think she's got all that you got
Just when you've stood there
In permanent shock
You've spent your last penny and lost your last stock
And she's got the acres
And you've lost the plot
Just when you think she's got all that you got
She got the roof and left chimney pot
And just when you think she can't get any lower
She got the garden and left you the mower, the mower
Just when you think she's got all that you got
She got the roof and left chimney pot
Just when you think she can't get any lower
She got the garden and left you the mower, the mower, the mower, the mower