She left for someone so much slimmer than me My confidence wrecked like a ship in the sea But I got allotment and I got the shed I got the toys when the kids have dropped dead I got the confidence nipped in the bud I got the back chat that does me no good Just when you think she can't get no more cold She's emptied the freezer and left me the mould Just when you think she's got all that you got She got the roof and left chimney pot And just when you think she can't get any lower She got the garden and left you the mower, the mower ♪ When I asked why she found somebody else She answered me, "why just take a look at yourself" And just when I felt it was as low as it gets She's left me the dog food and taken the pets I got the new flat a fridge full of beer And you got the new friend who is loving you here Loving you here in what once was my bed And I got the couch or a mattress instead Just when you think she's got all that you got She got the roof and left chimney pot And just when you think she can't get any lower She got the garden and left you the mower, the mower Just when you think she's got all that you got Just when you've stood there In permanent shock You've spent your last penny and lost your last stock And she's got the acres And you've lost the plot Just when you think she's got all that you got She got the roof and left chimney pot And just when you think she can't get any lower She got the garden and left you the mower, the mower Just when you think she's got all that you got She got the roof and left chimney pot Just when you think she can't get any lower She got the garden and left you the mower, the mower, the mower, the mower