The fear is rising I can't control myself I want to do it No, I NEED to do it Fuck, another compulsion I Need to give in Some relief it gives But at what cost THIS IS MY MENTAL AUTOMUTILATION Fucking Endless Pointless rumination A vicious circle To which I give in I'm obsessed - so possessed I can not stop thinking I dig myself in deeper My-own-mental-grave Endless cycle I cannot take it The suffering Is maddening This misery Is crippling THIS HORRID LIFE CONSTANT PAIN AND FUCKING JOYLESS It needs to stop right now There is only one way out of this I'll no longer be My own mind's slave I tie a noose Never thought it would come to this Stick my head in Still so hesitant Step on a chair Feel my heart pounding But not for much longer One last deep breathe And I step off God, no what have I done Instant regret but now to late Dying alone is now my fate My own mind's slave There's no way out Another compulsion To which I surrendered