I'm a dog shit ashtray I'm a shrugging mustache, wearing a Speedo tuxedo I'm a movie with no plot, written in the backseat of a piss-powered taxi I'm an imperial armpit, sweating Chianti I'm a toilet with no seat, flushing tradition down I'm socialist lingerie, I'm diplomatic techno I'm gay pastry and racist cappuccino I'm an army on holiday in a guillotine museum I'm a painting made of hair on a nudist beach eating McDonald's I'm a novel far too long I'm a sentimental song I'm a yellow tooth waltzing with wraparound shades on