I've been to Hell, I spell it, I spell it "D-M-V" Anyone that's been there knows precisely what I mean Stood there and I've waited, and choked back the urge to scream And if I had my druthers, I'd screw a chimpanzee Call it pointless When I need relief, I spell it "T-H-C" Perhaps you may know vaguely what I mean I sit back and smoke away huge chunks of memory As I slowly inflict upon myself a full lobotomy Call it pointless Pointless Barbecues, tea kettles, gobs of axle grease There comes a time for every man to sail the seas of cheese Now, life's a bowl of bagel dogs, but there are unpleasantries Cold toilet seats, dentist chairs, and trips to DMV Call it pointless Pointless I've been to Hell, I spell it, I spell it "D-M-V" Anyone that's been there knows precisely what I mean I've stood in line and waited near an hour and fifteen And if I had my druthers, I'd screw that chimpanzee Call it pointless Pointless Pointless