A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H I gotta' gal, wears her toenails long Drives a red Barracuda, singin' meat packer songs And she ain't from Kalamazoo ♪ A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H I gotta' friend, lived in a Mercedes-Benz Then a '55 Chrysler where the trunk never ends And the plates say Kalamazoo He had a steady job and watched what he spent He'd say, "I don't believe in payin' no goddamn rent I'll squirrel away every goddamn cent And buy my own damn house in Kalamazoo" ♪ I knew a guy that mangled his hand And he went from pipe fittin' to a hot dog stand They say last year he cleared fifty grand Selling dogs round Kalamazoo She turned to the world with a bastard child Said, "I just can't handle him, he's too damn wild" But the years and the liquor have made him mild And he lays around Kalamazoo