Rich pickings from the wastrels Rich pickings from the hand of man These fine beaks can find What you leave behind Because we're not fussy We don't care We're not proud We're loud We'll scrabble in the rubbish like the poorest poor We're cheeky, and sneaky, and beaky what is more We find our future in plastic bags Hidden among the rubble and worn out rags We poke our noses into unsavoury places Juicy morsels of onion and fruit Tasty treads of jam and jellied pigs foot Rancid burgers in chocolate spread Squashed in sand and mouldy bread You are fastidious We are omnivorous We own the franchise on this catering midden We will find what you try to keep hidden Because we are ravenous You said it would be romantic That moonlighting was the thing Eloping in a ten year old van Fixed with string And after all the packing Secrecy and fuss We never got past Watford And we had to come home by bus Early to bed and off to work next day My parents never even noticed We'd been away But don't say I didn't warn you I told you so You were too stubborn to listen I said you'd come unstuck I said you'd come unglued You wouldn't listen to reason A registry office marriage I said was a mistake Your mother laughed the whole time And your brother cut the cake I wanted priest and church A proper white wedding And a sober best man Might not have lost the ring Honeymoon in Norfolk You went fishing all the time In Majorca at least We might have caught some sunshine But don't say I didn't warn you I told you so You were too stubborn to listen I said you'd come unstuck I said you'd come unglued You wouldn't listen to reason A home of our own You turned do-it-yourself I told you'd better be off To leave it to somebody else You did the plumbing Now the cistern's upside down The hot water's cold And the cold water's brown Then there was the other thing You even got that wrong Here we are with seven kids And we only wanted one But don't say I didn't warn you I told you so You were too stubborn to listen I said you'd come unstuck I said you'd come unglued You wouldn't listen to reason