Select your Class! Bard Bard... Who'd wanna be a Bard Inspiration's the question? Bards are the answer Raising spirits harder than a Necromancer The only Class fluent in Common and Sweet Talk My race is Hypeman and my speed Moonwalk A Charisma cannon, call me Casanova My d20 makes your pantaloons go supernova I make Goblins gawk and Beholders behold Bards ain't silvertongued! We won the fucking gold Here's a little limerick to limit your lifespan When a Bard breaks bones it's a poetry slam Barbarian taught me how to go Berserk I'm a beat poet 'bout to bruise your body of work I'm a spell-slinging song-singing jack-of-all trades I Buff by talking tough, can even bluff some healing aid With sexy deadly medleys, a Bard is instrumental I'm in the Monster Manual under Mojo Elemental Fighter's the muscle, beat you down in brawls Wizard's the brain, drive you up the walls Rogue's the backbone, holding us all tall Cleric's the heart, but Bards are the balls Lute solo! Two hands! One hand! Mage hand No hands! Don't ask how I did that I'm insult to injury, with Arcane artillery Make history with witchery, my Faerie Fire's so glittery Tasha is my warmup act, make you bust a rib Everywhere's my turf with Leomund's Tiny Crib My lyrics are critical, Healing Words every round Call me Feather Fall, I'll never let my team down Don't choke! Rhymes sicker than a Stinking Cloud Speak With Plants, we can talk after you've been ploughed Born to disrupt, don't you dare get physical I interrupt, I make your strikes all pitiful Watch me corrupt, change luck when I get lyrical Dealing Psychic Damage with every syllable Fighting talk's my weapon for derring-do and dealing I don't do much damage but I hurt their feelings Vicious Mockery, I'm here to cause grief Must've multi-classed Butcher I got so much beef I need a volunteer, yes, you, in the back Hello, I'm an Orc. And I attack Hey Orc! You dork! I'll make you take that swing back You got Deflect Missiles? 'bout to catch so much flak CUTTING WORDS Your brain's a desert going through a thought drought A Feeblemind would give you more to think about Your Class Proficiency? It's in simplicity Every word Buffs your Aura of Stupidity Your train of thought is now a derailed wreck Every time you blink is an Intelligence Check Admit you submit, you can't hit shit with my wit Now, make like a banana and go away And that's why you Bard! We're the Dukes of Fluke I must've rolled a Tiefling, all these Hellish Rebukes I'm the Master-Class! Sharper ears than an Elf Let me take this d8, I just inspired myself