Standin' on the runway wavin' at the plane There goes everythin' I own You called home collect, and they didn't know your name Starin' at the telephone You thought he was a doctor, but now he says he's not But the noises seem to tell for sure And accordin' to the symptoms, it isn't all you got A shame they haven't found a cure You didn't know the reason You start to feel the rub You know it isn't easy Well, welcome to the club ♪ Well, you thought they'd take it lightly, they're actin' kinda rash Caught you in a loadin' zone So they smile very politely relieved you of your cash Suddenly you're all alone You play the double agent You bug each other's phone You got the place surrounded There ain't nobody home It's gettin' hard to please 'em You start to feel the rub You know it isn't easy Well, welcome to the club Come on and join us in the club