I'm a likable shitbag... a scandalous lead...
I'm a lovable... horrible... summers day breeze...
I'm a vicious upstart and a boy scout in part...
I'm a fucking disaster with a gigantic heart...
And I'll piss on your garden while waving good eve...
I wear number four jerseys to shit the Chinese...
My intentions are pure but I'm just a bit blunt...
And to a few select people... I'm the worlds biggest cunt...
I'm just not a hateful or mean kind of guy
I'm just fucking cheeky... sarcastic... and dry...
Some say I'm offensive... grotesque and obscene ...
I just don't give a fuck... and I say what I mean...
Just like Amy Schumer... but without the disease...
Coz it turns out the world biggest cunt might be me...