A fine upstanding citizen Just kicked my ass I was almost out the door The guard was gonna let me pass Then another good Samaritan Went and told And the place went cold The officer responding kicked my ass I was almost in his car I thought I was safe at last Then the f.u.c. that worked me over Went and told the blue He wasn't through A cashier left her line To hold me down As all the honest shoppers were Gathering around Everyone was cheering and I started thinking Maybe I'm Not welcome here Grandmothers and children Were joining in 'Cause everybody wants to be a Fine upstanding citizen I can't even remember What I tried to steal I thought I'd make just One more appeal But the officer responding agreed They were upstanding Fists were flying and Most of them were landing Everyone was cheering and I started thinking Hey maybe I'm not welcome here Maybe I'm not welcome here