Here I go, 9 a.m.,
Sittin' here starin' at the tube again.
I'm in denial, I'm in defeat, 'cause if I don't get to see her I'll be incomplete.
Got no school, got no job, my friends keep sayin' I'm a lazy slob. But there's one thing I can't stand, is when their talking while I'm watchin' Regis and... Kelly Ripa, Kelly Ripa, a mommy with the body of a stripper. Kelly Ripa, Kelly Ripa, she's so fine I'd settle for her dad. Kelly Ripa, Kelly Ripa, if I had some chocolate I would dip her. Kelly Ripa, Kelly Ripa, why you wanna make me want so bad? Riding round, in my car, worshiping a TV goddess from afar. There's no way, I can see her ever leaving Regis just to be with me. My Girlfriend's mad, cause I can't pay attention to her, watchin' Ripa all day. It must be hard when you're a girl, to be an Angelina in a Kelly world! Kelly Ripa, Kelly Ripa, if she was a naughty girl I'd grip her. Kelly Ripa, Kelly Ripa, rockin' all the polyester plaid. Kelly Ripa, Kelly Ripa, why you wanna make me want so bad? How's a guy supposed to believe in everything he's not? Try my best to fight this fire with fire. Why you wanna try to take my TV set away?(hey!) How am I supposed to wake and start another day?(hey!) Clearly you are dealing with a desperate man who's close to insane! Lost my mind, the doctors say, they locked me up, but really that's O.K., cause my new nurse looks just like... Kelly Ripa, Kelly Ripa, if she was a lolly-pop, I'd lick her. Kelly Ripa, Kelly Ripa, kinda makes me state she's probably sad. Kelly Ripa, Kelly Ripa, a mommy with the body of a stripper. Kelly Ripa, Kelly Ripa, she's so fine I'd settle for her, rockin' all the polyester, why you wanna make a boy go mad?