Hey, mister, where you headed? Are you in a hurry? Need a lift to happy hour? Say, "Oh, no" Do you brake for distilled spirits? I need a break as well The well that inebriates the guilt Troubled times, you know I cannot lie And I'm off the wagon and I'm hitchin' a ride Cold turkey's gettin' stale Tonight, I'm eatin' crow Fermented salmonella, poison oak, no There's a drought at the fountain of youth And I'm dehydrated My tongue is swellin' up, I say Troubled times, you know I cannot lie I'm off the wagon and I'm hitchin' a ride Don't know where to go Don't know where to go Don't know where to go Don't know where to go Don't know where to go Don't know where to go Troubled times, you know I cannot lie Troubled times, you know I cannot lie, yeah Troubled times, you know I cannot lie, yeah I'm off the wagon and I'm hitchin' a ride Hitchin' a ride Hitchin' a ride Don't know where to go Don't know where to go Don't know where to go Don't know where to go Don't know where to go Don't know where to go Don't know where to go Don't know where to go