She was tan, she was classy From southern Tallahassee And her daddy had the Kennedy hair She graduated Vandy Old money and a hand-me-down Country club sorority flair Woulda been a good wife Woulda been a good life Couple kids and some khaki shorts She started talkin' 'bout marriage And I knew three carats Wouldn't shine in my rusty old Ford Here's to all the near Mrs. Give 'em all my best wishes And close-call kisses that never came through Thank God I didn't ever say "I do" Here's to all the lost chances Last-call romances 'Cause if those near Mrs. had ever come through I would've missed out on you She was sweet, she was mean From New Orleans She tried to put me in her voodoos pell A wildfire ragin' A French Quarter Cajun And her brother did some time in jail Now, LA was pretty And New York was witty And Chicago got too cold for me I went all around the world For a marrying girl All the while, she was in Tennessee Here's to all the near Mrs. Give 'em all my best wishes And close-call kisses that never came through Thank God I didn't ever say "I do" Here's to all the lost chances Last-call romances 'Cause if those near Mrs. had ever come through I would've missed out on you (yeah) Come on now Hey Here's to all the near Mrs. Give 'em all my best wishes And close-call kisses that never came through Thank God I didn't ever say "I do" Here's to all the lost chances Last-call romances 'Cause if those near Mrs. had ever come through I would've missed out on you Yeah, I probably would've ended up somethin' blue And I would've missed out on you La-da-da-da-da La-da-da-da-da-da La-da-da-da-da, la-da-da-da-da La-da-da-da-da-da La-da-da-da-da-da-da La-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da La-da-da-da-da-da-da, la-da-da-da-da La-da-da-da-da-da Hey