Yesterday the local flowers were barely open
But with the sunny skies this morning they're open
And happy to share some smiles with us
We got a bright sunshiny day kicking off in the morning hours
Into the afternoon with light clouds rolling in as we approach dinner hour-
Ugh, at this hour?
Let's take a look at the charts
We have temperatures at 6 degrees up in Claireheights
Traveling down into the south we start to see double that
At 12 degrees for both Claireville and Clairecenter
Oh, another gift?
Current wind speed in the area is sitting at a smooth 6.6kmh
Who the fuck is Larry?
-Heading west, expect some nice cloudy scenery while you folks cool off in the evening
For most people daytime high today will be sitting at 12 degrees
Tomorrow, expect to see an increase in cloud count
As the vacuum carries us down towards a gentle 6 degree peak
Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, and all the rest
This week is looking like another beautiful 7 days
This is Jill Taylor with the weather
And remember Claire, don't open that package!
Huh?
Hello
Fuck
Come on
Wew
We fu-fu-fu-fu-fu-fu-fu-fu-fu-fu-fu
Ah-ah
WE FUCKING LOVE YOU TO DEATH
BUP
DEATH
W-We w- w-we-w-w-w-w-w-w-w
We fucking love you to deuhliluioiui deaaadeaaadeaa
Fu-fu-fucking love you to deaaa we-we
(We fucking love you) We vi
(We fucking love you t-)
(We fucking love you) Stay back
We fucking love you to
D-D-D-D-D-D
Honey, I'm home!
Oh, what else is on?!
Don't open that package!
Give it up for your host, Pete Bradburn
And welcome back everybody to "Don't Open That Package"!
I'm your host, Pete Bradburn and I'm here with Claire who's about to spin the Wheel of Fate
How are you feeling?
I'm good
You know, tending to my collection
How are the kids, Pete?
Good, good
Their gums are a little sore, but they'll get over it
Didn't we all?
Well, Claire, are you ready to spin the Wheel of Fate?
Ready as I'll ever be!
And who would've guessed, we have a winner!
Claire will NOT be opening the package today
But she WILL be going home with some shiny new ribbons!
Oh my god!
This is the... sixth time Claire has won 'Don't Open That Package'
We'll be back after commercial
This Saturday night, don't forget to watch 'The Godfather's Dentist'
I'm the Godfather and this is my dentist
Canada's best Italian teeth grinding celebrity show
We got a big shipment comin' in tomorrow!
Oh no, I forgot the boxes!
This season, featuring American white rapper, Staple God
You and I both know that we were supposed to get those teeth to the boss guy ages ago, alright?
I'm trying my best, you don't understand!
You know what happens when you mess with the big boss
And if you don't hold up your side of the deal
There's gonna be trouble for both of us
While Luigi is all smiles, Staple God is in the hot seat from the big boss
If he doesn't get those molars to me by the end of the night
He knows what happens
And if any near under quota when they go to weigh it in
You know what happens
Eh, but my spin drill machine, it-a broke-a!
Look! I'm tired of the excuses man
Will he get his spin drill in gear?
Or will the big boss be sending him down the root canal to failure?
Think I'm gonna add him to the list and send him down the root canal to FAILURE
Youse thinks you a tough guy?
I ne-
Do you know how much money you owe me?
N-n-n, well
I'm the boss!
W- ah-
Is there anything you can do?
You, you go-, you gotta do something if you wanna keep this position
Uh, we-
Do something for me, what can you do?
Uh, I ca- I can beatbox
Wanna hear me beatbox?
This Saturday night at 7:30
Only on Clarity TV
Exclusive!
What does it feel like to be pure? (Pure)
Feel the buzz of Epsilon Cream Soda (bubbly!)
Bubbly (bubbly)
Fresh (fresh)
Crisp (crisp)
A new sensation for your taste buds (a new sensation for your taste buds)
Our unique hydrogen peroxide whitening agent targets plaque and tartar build up
Making your teeth more prime for delivery than ever!
Epsilon Cream Soda
Taste the love
Mmm-mmm-mmm-aaa-aaa-aaa-aooo-ooouhhh-blublu
Blublublublublu-uhh-ru-brubrlublu
Blublublublublublublublbublu-aohhh!
Mm, mm, ay!
Chubby soda!
Chubby soda!
-Ry! Larry! Larry! (Oh shit, there h-)
Fuck Tamagotchis, bi-
Oh, you made a-
You're listening to OMNI Radio
(One-O-Two-point-Five-O-Five-O-Five-O-One O-Five-O-One-O-Five)
In the mix!
OMNI Radio
O-OMNI Radio
OMNI Radio
You just listened to "cold outside" by HELVETICAN (Helvetican)
In the mix, twenty-four-seven
N-No limit radio
Bringing you the latest in-
Bass! Bas-
(Aaaaa hahahahahahaha!)
OMNIPONY
Including sounds from the Radio Demon!
Strike infinity!
The dopest
Sonic palette l-l-l-limitless!
Refresh your senses
Reset your life!
Destructive force of OMNI Radio
Alright, and up next we have six impala & Willy Crooks' "KEEPITINSIDE" on OMNI Radio
O-OMNI Radio
OMNI Radio
K-k-k-k-k-keep it inside
Yuh, keep it inside
Keep it inside, uh
Keep it inside
Keep it! Inside! (Woo!)
KEEPITINSIDE (keep it inside, yeah)
KEEPITINSIDE (keep it inside, yeah)
KEEPITINSIDE (keep it, yeah)
Keep! It! In! Side!
What did you see?
I saw God, and the world doesn't revolve around us
There are others
Hundreds, thousands, tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands, uh, milli-
Fuck it
Hm? What the fuck?