And in the daylight I collapsed In the distance between what I knew and what I knew had passed I saw the blood and the skin upon the backs of my hands I couldn't see them as my own And I lay in the cold Let go I think about those years Time spent in fear I'm glad that you're not here I wanna make that clear Who did you think you were to me? A pleasant memory? Can't you see? You ruined me And in the evening I'm alone Where is home? It's really not that bad Given what I had But the feeling hasn't gone away And to this day I don't quite understand Why it felt so bad I can count the ways that I know Why it felt like hell But I always feel like I'm alone A feeble misconstructed histrionic shell I cannot remember all those years They're not here Somewhere locked away Who's to say What you meant when you touched me? I can barely hold that memory Without feeling guilt consumed me But I guess I was lucky That you wanted me to be somebody And maybe you were just lonely I'll never know I'll never know I think about those years A life spent in fear I'm glad that you're not here Look, I wanna make that clear Who did you think you were to me? A pleasant memory? Can't you see? You ruined me I think about those years Time spent in fear You're not here