Would you order on demand From the disembodied hand From the moving lights up in the sky? 'Cause there was a time you know When I had my own live show It was improvised for the camera's eye It was made up in the ring Back when Bob Hope was king Back when every choice felt right Back when life was black and white Now there's one thing I regret How I wish I didn't care How I wish I could forget That I was someone then when we were on the air It was June of '55 I walked out when we were live Cause I knew I was made for bigger screens than just That small time comedy, just a half hour parody It was cinema marquees for me or bust We were heroes with a plan Back before the laughs were canned Back before the double bed When the carpets all were red Now there's one thing I regret How I wish I didn't care How I wish I could forget That I was someone then when we were on the air Maybe at the traffic light When I see that big white sign Just by chance in my rearview mirror Well I don't know what it means But I know it's not the screen It's my own routine and I'm the antihero But I used to be number one back before the reruns Back when every choice felt right Back when life was black and white Now there's one thing I regret How I wish I didn't care How I wish I could forget That I was someone then when we were on the air