Welcome home we've been waiting for you Behind door one: a stable job with prestige You'll have lead authorship on several different publications And garner many accolades and forms of affirmation You'll have a friend with a friendly dog You'll be a friendly neighbor and give high fives You're in the perfect world You're in the perfect world You're in the perfect world and doing ok Behind the second curtain a life of poetry There ain't no bread unless you bake it yourself When others look at you they'll wish that they could see themselves You'll go to sleep knowing you have made a contribution To the world You're in the perfect world You're in the perfect world You're in the perfect world and doing ok Behind door three well that you cannot see