There's a mushroom on my eyelid There's a carrot down my back I can see in the distance A vast quantity of beans To you I'm just a flavour To make your stew taste nice Oh my god, here come the onions And – I don't believe it! – at least a pound of rice There was a time when bacon sandwiches Were everyone's favourite snack I'm delicious when I'm crunchy Even when I'm almost black So why you make a soup with me I just can't understand It seems so bloody tasteless Not to mention underhand Now there's no hope of getting out of here I can feel I'm going soft Dirty waters soak my fibres The whole saucepan's getting hot So I may as well resign myself Make friends with a few peas But I just, I can't help hoping That a tummy ache will bring you to your knees Bring you to your knees Bring you to your knees Bring you to your knees (Repeat to fade)