My cat died and I quickly poured myself some gin Did she die from old age or was it for my sins God I loved her oh so much Miss her little kitty touch Does she miss me does she care Oh I miss her kitty stare Do you have a little time Would you like to ease my mind Talk for hours and never stop Chop your head off Be a lighter person Brighter person nicer But you've heard it all before So ding dong There's the doorbell hello man in white He's gonna make you all well Getcha through the night But hey now You don't feel better As you take your fresh bromide Maybe this man of letters lied Let me tell you 'bout a dream I had the other night You were in it boy you sure gave me a super fright I was walking down the street Downtown by the DMV You popped out behind a door It was odd you were on all fours Do you have some time to spare You were barking at a bear It said hey you'd better stop Chop your head off Be a lighter person Brighter person Nicer But you've heard it all before So ding dong There's the doorbell Hello man in red He's gonna make you all well Getcha into bed But hey now You don't feel better As you wake and slowly rise Maybe this smooth jet-setter lied Stick around one minute more I'm smarter than you think Do I sound like an old bore Oh man it's just the drink I didn't always hit the gin There were times when I fit in They'll never know how much I tried Did I tell you my cat died Do you have a little time Would you like to feel sublime Run away and never stop Chop your head off Be a lighter person Brighter person Nicer But you've heard it all before So ding dong There's the doorbell Hello man in black He's gonna make you all well There's no going back But hey now you don't feel better As you drift off in the dark Maybe this Jack the ripper lied And you died