In my house that's where I live in my house That's where I'll be if you call I got one chair in my house You can sit there when you come to my house In my house I ain't got but a chair and a shelf If you don't like that you can go somewhere else In my house I like to sit with my curtains all drawn Cause I ain't got no windows And I ain't got no lawn in my house My wife lives here in my house That's where she'll be if you call I got no floor in my house You can stand there when you come to my house In my house one time there lived a great big rat I bought a nine pound eagle and he ate the rat In my house lived an eagle so I bought me a beagle The beagle ate the eagle made the whole thing legal In my house My beagle lives here in my house That's where he'll be if you call You can scratch his back when you come to my house In my house live my beagle me and my wife I got everything I ever wanted out of my life When people come to see us they never go away Cause I've got to feed my wife And my beagle some way hey, hey in my house Everyone's welcome to my house You can sit here in my chair Got no floor you can stand there My beagle needs his back scratched How about that? Everyone's welcome to my house Got no lawn in my house You can bring your own When you come now to my house.