First bliss stripped She lost interest Couldn't explain why Three years in One year after he collapsed Vanished off the wagon The ghost she left behind Decayed and grew Repelled us apart One year passed Perpetual abandoning Dying and splitting Unbearable stench A putrescent giant laughing An abscess inside us The crowd grew wild Dysfunction rewarded He came in like a beast Charmed me frightened But ego showed him the door In disgust, I hurt him badly I've never heard such pain Ego returns but everything's changed Blaming all but herself The Beast returns, But this time shows himself the door While a wagon's passenger Hangs like a threat As ego strokes herself Survivor keeps playing Through the scars I gave him And Like a shadow she hovers like family Distant and demanding Sadistic crowd keeps growing Malicious adoration In my confusion and complex grief I have a long way to go Before I set myself free