If I had a radio for every time you loved me so, I wouldn't have a radio at all. Now I sit and waste my time, My room is quiet as a mime, And wait for someone glamorous to call. Radio If I had a ceiling fan for every time you made a plan and then told me you had plans and couldn't go, The hurricane would wreck my bed and leave my shingled roof for dead, And my broken heart scattered to and fro. Hurricane If I had a leisure suit 1/10 of 1% as cute as certain parts and aspects of your face, Every single summer day I'd look so fuckin' good you'd say, The way I treated you was a disgrace. Fuckin' good I wish i had a radio with songs about you.