It's all on me Look at me, I've denied joy There's only comfort in my misery Any love shown, felt so undeserving Pushed away those that were any good to me It's all on me, can't you see? I'm the only one who's got me on my knees Chained to the pain that just won't let me breathe Chained to the pain When the sun shines, I look away Because my whole life, I felt the shade was meant for me Words like "dad, home, love, hope" seemed so far away The shit seemed more like make believe It's been thirty years and it's getting old I don't want to feel like this anymore I want to run towards the sun, find me in myself Smile more, wouldn't that be something else?