I remember it just like it was yesterday
From the dew on the grass
To the leaves changing colours
How could I ever forget that day
You see there are different ways to deal with certain pains
Or you could be just like me and never actually manage any of it
Just holding onto it and staying bitter until the very end of time
And speaking of time
I wish that mine would run out
See there's an endless mental anguish on the forecast
Brought on through questionable moral antics
You see I bring you this three-ring circus I call my brain
Maybe not insane but definitely dripped in disdain
Speaking in tongues will only take you so far
I've had enough dark thoughts to knock the lights out of you
Its hard to be lonely when I can't even see myself
In this dark pit I call my head
I'm constantly fighting that I'm better off dead
At least I'd be gone
Unable to disappoint you any further
At least I'd be gone
Unable to disappoint you any further.
There's no point in bettering myself when the negatives will always weight out everything else
Theres no positive future ahead and it's clear to see that obviously the only person to blame is me.
And yet it goes so far beyond me
It's us
It's this horrific reality
It's scrambling to justify violence as any means
It takes twelve steps to be sober
Yet how many steps do I have to take Before I don't hate what I see in the mirror
Or is it just twelve steps to accepting a life of suffering
I'm drowning
I can't breathe
All these thoughts are so defeating
Can anyone please help me
I'm losing sight of I could be
This is it
This is real
This is why I'm always falling apart
So come with me and let's all just jump off a bridge
All the pain will disappear
And things will finally come to an end
Cause yet I wake up and I'm still numb
Cause everytime I wake up
I'm still numb
Im still numb
I'm still numb
I'm still numb
I'm still fucking numb
I'm still fucking numb
I'm so numb
Still so numb
Still so numb
This is it
This is real
This is why I'm falling apart
Yet when I wake up
I'm still
So numb
So numb
So numb
So numb
So numb
So numb
So numb
So numb
So numb
So numb
So numb