Calamity Jane had a dream It wasn't a pyramid or a scheme She wasn't a hero or a fiend Slipping through quicksand by her own means Calamity Jane had it made She was born on the first of May Just as pretty as Doris Day There ain't no game that she ain't played Calamity Jane, Calamity Jane She wasn't a sweetheart She wasn't a saint She was the heroine of the plains Calamity Jane's an orphan still She's done chasing after Wild Bill Playing poker he was killed Buried together in the black hills