We're on a runaway train The conductor had a meltdown The people in the dining car Are screaming really, really loud We need a hero Someone to save us Yeah, we need a hero To bring us through the danger We need a hero Somebody competent We need a hero To save the day So I put the engineer's hat On the top of my head The people go fucking crazy A guy says "You're the man, man" And a deaf woman signs "Go get 'em" Then I go to the cab And I toot the whistle That's something I always wanted to do Then right away we fly off the bridge Because I don't know what I'm doing