Dear Uncle Creepy, it's been years Morbid fantasy exterminates my childhood fears Dear Uncle Creepy, how can it be? Some of the crap that's out these days Is such a bore to me Dear Uncle Creepy... The shit they call "horror" in the comic store Nobody's got that style anymore! Pre-code classics provide the chills This high-tech bullshit never will! As far as movies are concerned, There's a plenty out that should be burned The horror's gone, big budget's here Whatever happened to the meaning of FEAR? Dear Uncle Creepy, it's a crying shame The "terror" of the 90's is so fucking LAME! Whatever happened to the good ol' days Has you and Cousin Eerie turning in your graves!