I once owned and operated a beard accessory store A beard accessory store Business it was booming at my beard accessory store My beard accessory store But then people started shaving And business started waning At my beard accessory store The landlord came a knockin' at my beard accessory store My beard accessory store Said I was evicted from my beard accessory store My beard accessory store He said that beard accessories Were no longer necessities And shut my beard accessory store So I lured my landlord inside and locked the door Of my beard accessory store I can't say what I did to him, but it was against the law At my beard accessory store And now I've long since left town The body was never found And I don't sell beard accessories any more