You catch his eye, from across the room you catch his eye You think 'oh my, he's got quite the beard, oh my' And now you want to but you can't look away His beard is black and bushy with a hint of grey And now you find yourself walking his way Hey hey You should consider having sex with a bearded man You're getting these feelings that you can't understand (Sex with a bearded man) You think you can't but you can Don't try to fight, just get freaky with a beard tonight Don't be scared, his beard is soft to the touch, don't be scared You get some hair, in your mouth when you kiss him you get some hair You've never been with a man like him before But each time you look at that beard, you want it more And now he's asking you, "my place or yours?" Good lord You are about to have sex with a bearded man He rubs his bristles on your mammary glands (Sex with a bearded man) This wasn't part of the plan Don't try to fight, just get freaky with a beard tonight And now you grab him by his facial hair He's got some food stuck in his beard but you don't care You say "rub that beard on me everywhere" Oh yeah Now it appears you're having sex with a bearded man His sweaty beard is drips like a watering can (Sex with a bearded man) Just take your life in your hands, and ride that bearded man And he'll leave you with a glint in your eye A bit of loose beard hair on your bedside And some pash-rash between your thighs, oh my Congratulations you've had sex with a bearded man