I've sat upon a mountain with the wind blowing in my hair
I've watched the sun's rays sparkle on the sea
I've walked through the forest and I've breathed the purest air
And I've felt warm soft sand 'neath my feet
I've laid in the water and I've soared above the ground
I've sat in the silence and I've listened to the sounds
But through all that I have seen and done, one thing remains clear
There's just nothing better than a beard
I've read all the books, I've written all the songs
I've conquered the world and walked upon the moon
I've met with kings and emperors, and often I have found
That I've had the best beard in the room
I've made love to every single woman I've met
I've stopped Global Warming and I've freed Tibet
But in spite of all I've loved, and all that I've held dear
There's just nothing better than a beard
On the day I died, I crossed to the other side
And in the beauty of heaven I stood
I sang with the angels, and I touched the face of God
Oh and I felt his beard, and it was good
And as I stood in his presence, the lord said to me, 'Son,
You must return to earth, for your work is not yet done
I send you with a message, for all mankind to hear
There's just nothing better than a beard'
There's nothing better that a beard
There's nothing better that a beard
There's nothing better that a beard
There's nothing better that a beard
Oh I've crossed a thousand oceans, I've walked a thousand lands,
I've climbed the mountain ranges, survived the desert sands,
I've spoken every language, I've lived 1000 years
But the only thing I've learned is that there's just nothing better than a beard
Whoa oh oh oh, nothing better than a beard, nothing better than a beard, nothing better than a beard
I've bathed in all the oils, I've tasted all the wines
I've answered all the questions, I've crossed the finish line
I've conquered all the evil, I've defeated every foe
But my facial hair will grow, and that's all I need to know, oh yeah
Whoa oh oh oh, nothing better than a beard, there's nothing better than a beard, nothing better than a beard