Everything I need to know, I learned from watching my TV,
But I'm afraid that it has had a serious effect on me.
My head's stuck in the seventies,
I can't be fashionable or hip,
And it has influenced what I look for
In all of my relationships.
Can't handle independent women with their modern ways,
I need a woman like the ones I saw on Saturdays.
Be my Doctor Who girl,
With a trusting face,
Patient and understanding
As I drag you through time and space.
My beautiful assistant,
To flash your eyes and toss your curls,
And tell me that I'm brilliant,
Be my Doctor Who girl.
Saturday afternoon – what excitement, what a rush,
Between the end of Final Score and the start of Basil Brush.
I loved the show, I loved the tune,
I loved the scarf, I loved the hat,
I loved the girls, I told myself
One day I'd have a girl like that.
Behind my sofa there's a special place that we can hide;
You'll find my love is bigger on the inside than the outside.
Be my Doctor Who girl,
We'll make a real good team,
I'll do all the thinking,
You'll look good in shorts and scream.
Give me someone to rescue,
Get changed and give us all a twirl,
Keep quiet and never argue,
Be my Doctor Who girl.
Be my Doctor Who girl,
Follow me a lot,
Ask me heaps of questions,
So I can explain the plot.
Say you'll stand beside me,
Say you'll help me save the world,
Fall and twist your ankle,
Be my Doctor Who girl.