At twelve o'clock on Christmas Eve, she tiptoed up the stairs
She stood beneath the mistletoe and combed her silken hair
Then Santa Claus slipped down the flue and caught her unawares
And this is what she said, Ohhhhhhhh
Father Christmas do not touch me, Father Christmas do not touch me
Father Christmas do not touch me, as she stood beneath the mistletoe
"Oh my name is Father Christmas" he informed her as he met her
She said "Good grief, it's seven years since I sent you a letter!"
He said "I can't stand little girls, BIGGER ONES ARE BETTER!!"
And this is what she said, Ohhhhhhhh
Father Christmas do not touch me, Father Christmas do not touch me
Father Christmas do not touch me, as she stood beneath the mistletoe
Father Christmas do not touch ..., Father Christmas do not touch ...
Father Christmas do not touch ..., as she stood beneath the mistletoe
Father Christmas do not ..., Father Christmas do not ...
Father Christmas do not ..., as she stood beneath the mistletoe
Father Christmas do ..., Father Christmas do ...
Father Christmas do ..., as she stood beneath the mistletoe
Father Christmas ..., Father Christmas ..., Father Christmas...!
As she stood beneath the mistletoe
Father ..., Father ..., FATHER...!!
As she stood beneath the mistletoe
Faaa ..., Faaa ..., FAAA ...!
As she stood beneath the mistletoe
He's a most immoral Santa, he's a most immoral Santa,
He's a most immoral Santa, as she stood beneath the mistletoe