A man walks down the street
He says, "Why am I soft in the middle, now?
Why am I soft in the middle now?
The rest of my life is so hard
I need a photo-opportunity
I want a shot at redemption
Don't want to end up a cartoon
In a cartoon graveyard
Bonedigger, Bonedigger
Dogs in the moonlight
Far away in my well-lit door
Mr. Beerbelly, Beerbelly
Get these mutts away from me
You know, I don't find this stuff amusing anymore
If you'll be my bodyguard
I can be your long lost pal
I can call you Betty
Betty, when you call me, you can call me Al
A man walks down the street
He says, "Why am I short of attention?
Got a short little span of attention
Whoa, my nights are so long
Where's my wife and family?
What if I die here?
Who'll be my role model
Now that my role model is gone, He gone?"
He ducked back down the alley
With some roly-poly little bat-faced girl
All along, along
There were incidents and accidents
There were hints and allegations
If you'll be my bodyguard
I can be your long lost pal
I can call you Betty
Betty, when you call me, you can call me Al
Call me Al
If you'll be my bodyguard
I can be your long lost pal
I can call you Betty
Betty, You can call me Al
If you'll be my bodyguard
I can be your long lost pal
I can call you Betty
Betty when You call me, you can call me Al
You can call me Al
A man walks down the street
He says, "Why am I soft in the middle, now?
Why am I soft in the middle now?
Rest of my life is so hard