Last night, when I couldn't sleep
I was scrolling through my news feed
Reading everyones crap and watching viral videos
I was looking at some wedding photographs
Looked at them for an hour and a half
Till I realised they wrote people I didn't know
My girlfriend got up for work
She looked at me like I was dead
She said "Your lazy, you're ruining my life and getting fat"
She said "I know you wanna spend another day in bed, but I need you to take the cat to the ...
And I'm leaving you
And I'm never coming back"
She slam the door and I shouted back
"What's the problem with the cat?"
Well, I got outta bed
Emptied the tank
Went downstairs in my pants
And the cat was singing at the breakfast bar
Drinkin' my Gin and playin' my guitar
Smokin' my cigars
Wearin' my bras
Singing Kanye West-Songs
He was singing "I'm so great yes it's true,
I'm so great and I'm better than you and I am essentially a god"
Well, the video of the cat
I put it on Youtube
Within half an hour it had million views
I called it "Seven things that cats can do that really will blow your mind"
Well, ... about then the telephone rang
It doesn't ring for long so I ran
But I tripped up on an empty bottle of gin.
I grazed my knees tumblin' down
Smashed my head on the ground
With the last little energy in my bones
Reached out to pick up the phone
And a voice on the other line said
"Have you had a triple four in the last six months, that wasn't your foe?"
I said "Yes, Yes I have"
And I said "My girlfriend's just left me, and you wanna go to burger king wth me some time?"
She hung up
Well, the telephone rang for a second time and a man's voice on the other line said
"I've seen your cat. I gonna make him a star.
He needs a haircut and some singing lessons, so he does a great Kanye West impression, I can put the song on an advert and sellin' a car"
Well, we made a lot of money and we had no fair.
One point we like sunny and Cher, but that cat hooked on [...] and milk.