I Spent 6 Hours Watching TV
Antiques and Jerremy Till 4 in the Afternoon
When My Mother Came in Said His Wearin Pretty Thin
"Son You Better Get a Fuckin Job Soon".
I Went on to The Internet to See What Jobs I Could Get
Just To Keep My Mother Satisfied
But My Degree and Aviation for Every Single Occupation
I Felt Some Were Overqualified
Then I Saw Over at The Corner of The Screen
Someone Had Sent a Message To Me
They Put Certain Characters in Bold
I Cried Tears as I Read Every Word They Said
All of My Problems Were Solved
I Said "Dont Worry Mother Couse I Got This Email
From The Prince of Some Country Some Where"
He Said "His Plan Could Never Fail I Give Him All My Bank Details
And He'll Make Me a Millionaire".
Next Mornin' I Was So Excited I Pissed Myself Didn't Tried To Hide It
I Pound Sized* Gleam in My Eyes.
Well I Went Down to Severn Road to Buy Myself a Suit of Gold
They Only Had Silver In My Size.
I Tought What Sould I Do With All This Money
Oh Lord Wouldn't Be Funny If I Bought Myself a Brand New Limousine.
So Went Dont To The Limousine Shop and Asked The Salesman
Whatcha Got He Just Did This Staring Back At Me.
He Said "I'm Sorry Sir We're Closing Down
No One Afford Limosuines in This Town
I'm Broke I'm Bankrupt I Left to Sell My Kids".
I Said "Dont Sell Your Children I Think I Can Save Them
Come and Take a Look at This".
I Said "Dont Worry Mr. Saslesman Couse I Got This Email
From The Prince of Some Country Some Where"
He Said "His Plan Could Never Fail I Give Him All My Bank Details
And He'll Make Us Both Millionaires".
Well Me and The Limousine Salesman Whistling Dixie at This Point
Talking About Our Suits of Gold.
Then Suddenly out Of The Blue We Saw Ourselfs a Hippie or Two
They Were Protesting About The War.
We Followed Down To Number Ten To ... Square Then Back Again
Then We Started Bangin' at The Door.
We Said "Come On David Speak To Us We're Tired and We're Pissed Off
Some of Ours Are Moving To France".
Then Finally Sawed His Face After Him in Second Place
Came Nick Click on His Gameboy Advance
I Said "How You Doin' Nick, What Level You On"
He Said "Level 5"
I Said "What Game You Playin Nick"
He Said "Tetris"
I Said "Level 5 is Pretty Easy to Get To On Tetris Nick"
And in From The Crowd There Came a Shout
And Everybody Turned to Look.
And The Middle of The Humdrum.
Was David Cameron's Mom
Standin There Sakin' Up.
She "Said David What are Doing"
"The Country is In Meltdown".
"I'm Buying all My Knickers From Primark".
"The People Arrived in".
"The High Streets are Empty".
"The Country is Going To Shit".
And David Said "Dont Worry Mother Couse I Got This Email
From The Prince of Some Country Some Where"
He Said "His Plan Could Never Fail I Give Him All My Bank Details
And He'll Make Us all Millionaires".