I've tried traveling around the world
And I've tried kissing one hundred pretty girls
But all I got in return for my trouble was this sad old, country song
Well they told me that your town was dry, but I found me a barrel of wine
With a man inside who said he could grant me one good wish
So I took it to the back of the room and I drank it all to my head, yeah
So pass a glass or pass your hat
Whatever it is, we don't give a damn
Just make damn sure that it's full of some kind of fucking brew that's terrifying, horrifying
I'll be the one who sells it all to you
And call on me as your angel of death
Just use the hair of the dog for your own breath
And make damn sure that the hairs on the back of my neck stand straight up
And I'll try and steady my hands as I replenish your cup
And I'll stand right up and raise a fist at the man who told me that I couldn't do this or that
It was only what he said we could do
So I dragged him down to hell to ride along with me and you
Yeah there was a time in my feeble mind baby
When I thought that this would be a crime
To share a story, have a drink or two
But now I wish i'd left that just between me and you
Now I've realized that the hand above, it was really just a mitten, a fucking glove
Pushing us backwards and finding people to screw
So praise your Lord and hallelujah
Oh how they're selling all their lies to you