Saint Peter got fired
From his job at the pearly gate
'Cause the people behind it
Told him heaven's full, let 'm wait
It ain't hard to imagine
And we truly understand
But the trouble these lepers are havin'
Won't be solved in our meadowland
Peter turned around to find
There was nobody there
And said
Dad gummit - what's the use
Christmas time is here
It's got me singing the blues
I strum it and I hum it
Call me reindeer call me moose
Dad gummit
Tell me what's the use
Peter called st. Mary
Go and hear what they have to say
Maybe when they behold Thee
This cold might melt away
They said the things these lepers need
We ain't never gonna share
It's our fortune that they seek
Let 'm beg, we don't care
Mary turned around to find
There was nobody there
And said
Dad gummit - what's the use
Christmas time is here
It's got me singing the blues
I strum it and I hum it
Call me reindeer call me moose
Dad gummit
I'm playing the blues
St. Peter and st. Mary
Said now who are we gonna call
It's getting a little hairy
We need someone with bigger balls
But Jezus was engaged in
Writing his Christmas plea
Now these people are still raging
Scared to death by some refugees
Dad gummit - what's the use
Christmas time is here
It's got me singing the blues
I strum it and I hum it
Call me reindeer call me moose
Dad gummit
Tell me what's the use
I heard
Allah threw down the glove
And Buddah had to decline
Then Jezus from above
Started pouring some precious wine
Dad gummit
Dad gummit
God dammit
Sorry