Things have come to a pretty pass
Our romance is growing flat
For you like this and the other, while I go for this and that
Goodness knows what the end will be
Oh, I don't know where I'm at
It looks as if we two will never be one
Something must be done
You say eether, and I say eyether
You say neether, and I say nyether
Eether, eyether, neether, nyether
Let's call the whole thing off
You like potayto, and I like potahto
You like tomayto, and I like tomahto
Potayto, potahto, tomayto, tomahto
Let's call the whole thing off
But, ooh, if we call the whole thing off, then we must part
And, ooh, if we ever part, then that might break my heart
So if you like pajamas, and I like pajahmas
I'll wear pajamas and give up pajahmas
For we know we need each other, so we
Better call the calling off off
Let's call the whole thing off
You say laughter, and I say lawfter
You say after, and I say awfter
Laughter, lawfter, after, awfter
Let's call the whole thing off
You like vanilla, and I like vanella
You sa's'parilla, and I sa's'parella
Vanilla, vanella, chocolate, strawberry
Let's call the whole thing off
But, ooh, if we call the whole thing off, then we must part
And, ooh, if we ever part, then that might break my heart
So if you go for oysters and I go for ersters
I'll order oysters, and cancel the ersters
For we know we need each other, so we
Better call the calling off off
Let's call the whole thing off
I say father, and you say pater
I say mother, and you say mater
Pater, mater, uncle, auntie
Let's call the whole thing off
I like bananas, and you like banahnas
I say Havana, and I get Havahna
Bananas, banahnas, Havana, Havahna
Go your way, I'll go mine
So if I go for scallops, and you go for lobster
So alright, no contest, we'll order lobster
For we know we need each other, so we
Better call the calling off off
Let's call the whole thing off