It's a very merry federal secular holiday
That's why public buildings close across the land
The separation of church and state leads us to say
We are Santa Claus's biggest fans
Put up your decorations
There's no denomination
And no discrimination
Celebrate
Give all your presents out
That's what its all about
And why I'm so devout to make it a great
Very merry federal secular holiday
(Very merry oooh)
Scrooge and Jimmy Stewart make their point again
(Federal secular oooh)
The mistletoe will help promote a sense of play
The food is never better
Dude it's Zen
We don't want to offend our Muslim, Jewish, and Hindu friends
So all our rules will bend to include them too
Were in a culture war but what (what) are we fighting for?
'Cuz can you be so sure we can't merge our views?
(Very merry very merry oooh)
(Federal secular oooh)
(Federal secular Federal secular)
If you're Agnostic what will you do?
'Cuz there's no God-given holiday for you
The only way to make it through
A very merry federal secular holiday
(Very merry oooh)
A day to share for everyday Americans
(Federal secular oooh)
There's enough to go around that's why I say
Were all Santa Claus's biggest fans
So have a very merry federal secular holiday