If it's easier to discuss this Privately without you dad the Minister who doesn't take Kindly to your pursuits then I'll oblige. Was it you that was found With your pants down Watching your favourite cartoon Yelling at the shopkeeper For the changing of the channel Say to your self: "Be still my beating off" Well it may be inappropriate For someone in your position As a cop to satisfy Yourself at the local blue light disco Say to yourself: "Be still my beating off" There's no crime when you choose your time And your place to masturbate in a public place You will be disgraced, it's your right to choose Whether or not you want to be on the news. Well I'm sure the judge will Look lightly On your case considering I saw him Earlier at the footy Having a quick one off the wrist then Say to yourself: "Be still my beating off"