Dear Diary...
This will be one of the last entries I will make for a while I think.
I decided that, it's time things change, and time I can be happy.
So I am going to start new.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Thank you for helping me.
Thank you for listening.
This road to recovery's honestly been a bitch.
It took all of my will to finally make the switch.
I'm 20 years of age, but my weight says I'm ten.
And I feel like in my life I have not one friend.
I've been hurt too much, and my trust is all gone.
It's gotten to the point where I'm as frail as a fawn.
All these guys are using me, saying my beauty's true you see.
But then they all abuse me, and none of it is news to me.
They call it anorexia, my wish to be completely perfect.
I remember telling them that all I want to be is worth it.
My mom was worried when I didn't have the strength to stand
Calorie counting seems to be my only helping hand.
Life has me wondering why the hell am I even here?
What ever happened to the people I once held near?
I'm sick of everyone always telling me what to do.
All I want is something that I can relate to.
I've been used by guys, I've been hurt by girls.
I've been hit by my mum, and cursed by the world.
So I keep losing weight, just trying to be perfect.
I'm waiting for somebody to tell me that I'm worth it. Does my story end here? Thats all that I wanna know.
I never thought that I'd end up feeling fully alone.
In my room, no ones there, I cry myself to sleep.
I wish that I could love, and live and just leave.
Breathe, I made it through another long day.
Finding fear in the words that I didn't ever say.
How can I match up to what the world says is beautiful?
I look into the mirror and the me I see is unsuitable.
Tell me I'm beautiful, that's all I really wanna hear.
Hold me close, and make all of the pain disappear.
It's unhealthy, I know I should treat myself better.
I want someone to understand me down to the letter.
But mark my words, I'll be stronger then I ever was.
I'll be happy with myself, and honestly I never was.
I need to move on, past this diary I've always kept.
And all the pages that hold all the tears that I wept.
I've been used by guys, I've been hurt by girls.
I've been hit by my mum, and cursed by the world.
So I keep losing weight, just trying to be perfect.
I'm waiting for somebody to tell me that I'm worth it.