I'm Tex Richman, Mr. Texas Tea
People call me rich cause I got mo' money
I got more cheddar than some super sized nachos
Got cash flow like Robert has DeNiros
I use more greens than Vincent Van Gogh
I make the baker bake my bread out of dough
No, no, don't eat it, though, it'll make you ill
There ain't no flour in a hundred-dollar bill
He's Tex Richman (aw, yeah!)
Everybody listen (here we go now)
Just how great it is to be him (oh, it's great to be me, yeah)
He's the greatest (I'm the greatest!)
You're the lamest (woo-hoo-hoo)
Muppets are a waste of time
Oh, can't you see? (Uh-uh-uh-uh)
Yeah, it's funny in a rich man's world
When I need a piece of string, I use a string of pearls
If something's for sale, consider it sold
I've got so much gold, I gold plate my gold
I even got a guy to gold plate my cat
I don't regret much, but I do regret that
If I could start all over, I'd do it all the same
Except I wouldn't gold-plate little Twinkles again
He's Tex Richman
Everybody listen (yoo-hoo-hoo)
Just how great it is to be him (oh, it's great to be me, yeah)
He's the greatest (uh, c'mon)
You're the lamest
Muppets are a waste of time
Oh, can't you see?
(Oh, it's great to be me)
I recall a heartbreaking story
About my own tenth birthday party
Should've been a glorious day for me
I'd have been happy as can be
But the Muppets were there to put on a show
They started to dance, they were telling their jokes
I didn't laugh, I didn't know how!
Then my friends, they all turned around, and they laughed at me
They laughed at me
I hate you Muppets so
He's Tex Richman (we're back)
Everybody listen (come on, y'all)
Just how great it is to be him (ooh, it's easy havin' this much green, yeah)
He's the greatest (hey, sing it again)
He's the greatest (ooh, it never gets old)
Muppets are a waste of time
Oh, can't you see?
Little Muppets, time to give up your dream