I was a kid
With no cares for what you went through during your bid
In the books; I know emotions spilled over the lid
And I wish I could take back all of the things that I did
All of the times I grew tired of being inside
All of the times I wanted more than what my mom could provide
If it meant that all the guilt and the pain wouldn't be harvested
I swear I'd take it back to whenever it all started, then
I'd stomach all the boredom I felt
And understand you had to take a lot of time for yourself
I'd promise I'd wait... make an effort to end my issues
Knowing that later on I'd get to spend time with you
Cuz now the only flashback in my head
Is the men in suits yelling "You're the reason she's dead"
And at the same time, I'm counting the days that I'm going to
Keep myself inside this room til I can join you
Away from everybody else
So I won't be the reason behind every single time they threw a fit
And people might forget I exist,
But when it comes to their life, at least they can't say I ruined it
It's not that I'm not able to stay calm
I just have nothing left from only wanting my mom
And if I joined you, would you see me as a nuisance?
Do I really have no room for improvement?
If both of us go where there's no ground beneath her
Does it mean that I'm no use in death either?
Is that how it's supposed to be where ever I arrive?
And would it be the same if my mom was alive
After her work? All I know is nothing compares
To the days when my mother was there
It's all my fault...
I miss the days when my mother was there